See Ya Fatty

So trying to follow up my story about getting Chief'd has been difficult.  Oh by the way time is moving fairly quickly out here.  When you basically fly every other day for 10 hours a pop time does go by rather quickly and I've been lazy.  I can admit my faults so don't judge me. 

Since my last post we've had a fair amount of turnover.  Now fini-flights in the AF can be a big deal, but I can honestly say I have never been a part of an individuals NO-KIDDING LAST FLIGHT EVER in the AF.  My buddy Shooter, who you may remember from some pics where I am sitting in the back of the plane in flight, is retiring and about 3 weeks ago had his final flight after 20+ years of non-stop flying.  5000 hours later we say good bye to a great friend and a true warrior.

Here's a quick happy-snap following the flight

One of the great traditions associated with a fini-flight is spraying the bro down with a fire extinguisher and pouring champagne (preferably something costing less than $5) on the individual.  Fire bottles and champagne are in short supply at KAF so instead what Shooter received was a dousing courtesy of the KAF Fire Department.  Lets just say the old man got rolled up pretty good, we finally turned the hose off when we had him pinned against the blast barriers but only after he was crying and admitted to everyone that I was a better pilot than he.  That was the act of a brave man.

Also since booze is more frowned on than man-on-man PDA here at KAF we were forced to use bottles of near-beer for Shooter.  Near-beer is more commonly referred to as non-alcoholic which is about as fun as  listening to John Tesh's latest interpretation of a Kenny-G album.  The nice thing is if you want to drink a case of beer when you fly, apparently war is the one place you can check that little jewel off your bucket list.  So a hearty farewell to a good friend who really hasn't done much since 2006 beside teach a bunch of salad munching herbivores how to be steely-eyed killers. 

Cheers,

Beast

Getting Chief'd

So the Air Force has this new term whereby you get corrected for your uniform being wrong, forgetting your reflective belt or other basic administrative BS.  It is affectionately known as being "Chief'd."  The genesis being that our highest ranking enlisted members, Chief Master Sergeants, are usually the ones doing the spot corrections. Currently the uniform standards are the highest priority for leadership here at KAF and this has a trickle down affect on those who believe themselves to be up and coming "senior leaders."  Anyone can chief you, it doesn't actually have to be a Chief Master Sergeant.  Eventually everyone will get Chief'd, here is my story...

About 4 days ago while sitting around our TV room I decided I needed to drop off my laundry.  The conundrum is that August is Ramadan, Islam's holiest time.  As such, we are restricted on uniform combinations to prevent upsetting the people we are trying to kill...for my Canadian friends that is an example of irony (Canadians don't get irony).  Anyways, the one chance we have for wearing just shorts and a T-shirt right now is walking to and from the gym and really no where else.  So on this particular day I decided I would drop of my laundry while going to the gym.  The laundry facility is no kidding 100 feet away and I felt justified in doing so, there is one individual here at KAF who disagrees.

So as I walk out of the laundry and start across the road I hear "AIRMAN...EXCUSE ME...AIRMAN!!!"  For those of you who don't know the Air Force has adopted a term similar to the Army's soldier and the Navy's sailor. The problem is soldier, sailor, and marine are not ranks within their respective services.  An Airman in the US Air Force is the rank at which our basic trainees graduate so they are the youngest individuals we have.  As such it annoys me greatly when I get referred to as "Airman."  Not an ego thing but just a Beastism if you will.

I turn around and say "Yes, what can I do for you?"  I immediately recognize that this individual is NOT our Wing Commander, Base Commander, or any other type of individual who can cause me great harm so my initial fear factor quickly fades and I decide it's game on!  One of the basic abilities of your run-of-the-mill fighter pilots is a graduate level ability to mess with people; it is just in our DNA, and this guy was not a fighter pilot. The next words out of his mouth are incredibly important but unfortunately for him our exchange went something like this:

Him - "Are you going to the gym?"

Me - "Why else would I be dressed like this?"

Him - "Where is the gym?"

Me - "You don't know where the gym is?"

Him - "Where do you live?"

Me - "Do you know where Florida is?" as I point off in some random direction (this is also ironic since I am from Florida and my room on KAF is on Florida Rd)

What you may notice here is that I have successfully answered every question with a question, try this sometime it isn't that easy.  Also at this point I realize that this guy truly believes in what he is doing as do I, your classic battle of wills!

Him - "Does it make sense to you to wear your PT uniform to drop off laundry?"

Me - "Does it makes sense to you for me to walk 6 blocks to the laundry facility just to walk back 6 more   blocks so I can then change into a PT uniform to walk back the 6 blocks to the gym?

Him - "Doesn't matter, that is not authorized" Here he breaks the line of questioning

Me - "It makes sense to me and that is all that matters"

Him - "You can't wear your PT uniform to drop off laundry!"

Me - "Looks like I just did!"

At this point he is starting to realize I don't care about his rank or authoritative tone; I know lieutenants that can chew ass better than him and I am not impressed.  This has him clearly frustrated because when he rolled down the window on his air conditioned vehicle he probably thought he would make the Air Force a better place, and he may have were anyone else crossing the road at that moment.  But I am getting nervous taht I may have to lie in the bed that I have made and that could be bad thing depending on who this guy turns out to be.  That final comment was my way out of the conversation and as I turned and walked away from this guy I started having visions standing in front of my commander trying to explain why he and I are about to head over to the Wing Commander's office after I just verbally bitch slapped his exec or something. 

Standing by my guns though, I strolled down the sidewalk until I felt confident he wasn't following me wanting to keep this going.  My first chiefing and it felt good, God I love this place! 

Thanks for listening,

Beast

ps- I never did go to the gym, hahahaha!

More Pics

Thought I would post some more pics of the act out here.  As always life is good.  The food is not bad and the women are slowly getting better looking, in that regard it is much like the Academy.

Shooter and I preparing to fly, once again its important to support the Red Sox or any team playing the Spankees.  If you know either one of use you can understand why the two of us flying together is probably a bad idea.

This is a school bus with a rotor on top.  Again, lots of different aircraft out here which is kind of cool to see.

In case you felt like I needed a care package this is the back of the plane behind the cockpit, yes that is a microwave and coffee pot in on the left side...Holy shit who's flying the airplane, oh that's right the Global Express is so automated that human interference will only mess things up.  Seriously though, Shooter's flying!

Chinook taking off from KAF. 

No kidding shot of the Himalayas probably a few hundred miles away.  Not much to look at when your flying so getting a shot of something cool like this passes the time...only 9.5 hours to go.

Typical street on KAF, I wish you had smell-o-vision, it just doesn't do it justice without the yummy smells.

I'm an artists dammit so here is a shot of a Afghan sunset looking back over wing.  This was taken at an altitude of 50,000 feet, you really can see forever up there.

Here's a FOB (forward operating base) we have set up.  This where our ground troops will generally operate from. They use these locations to resupply and call home prior to and after heading out into the field for days or weeks at a time.

A Dose of Reality

For the first time since I've been in Afghanistan a tragedy struck that captured our nation's attention.  On August 6th, just over a week ago, a US Army helicopter was shot down, killing all aboard.  For the next three days our unit, myself included spent endless hours over the site ensuring that those on the ground were in constant contact with individuals located hundreds if not thousands of miles away.  I first arrived on scene about 4 hours after the helo was lost and relieved the aircrew that had been overhead since the middle of the night.  We knew what happened when we stepped out but we did not have the full details.  Thinking that a Chinook with nearly 40 Americans and Coalition partners was lost was a little grounding to say the least. 

The war is a distant image from 45,000 feet, hardly a personal event when I'm flying.  Out of the reach of any capability the Taliban has, we find ourselves far removed from the actual fighting.  On this particular day we dialed in the frequency used by the recovery and security teams and listened in.  While I can't say what was heard I can tell you it a a very frustrating feeling knowing what was taking place and being unable to help other than being there to provide our comm link. We lost a piece of the absolute tip of our nation's fighting spear that day.  I have two guys I would consider brothers in the special ops community, one a SEAL and one a PJ and I think about them often know just how close they are to all of this.

This incident, while tragic, unfortunately also serves as a reminder that we are in harms way.  It is interesting that when the rocket attacks are down and things get quiet around the countryside, how parking tickets and traffic violations increase along with talk of uniform standards.  I think since the shoot down KAF as refocused on the primary mission of winning this war.  American service members will continue to be placed in harms way regardless of what color socks the wear or how flashy their shoes.  American's in general are horrible with clearly establishing priorities.  We are very much influenced by outside sources and do a poor job of establishing boudaries and clearly defined objectives. This is obviously a generalized statement but I am willing to bet you can think of a few examples in your life that fit this concept.

Here's what I ask of you, read this story:  http://articles.cnn.com/2011-08-09/us/chinook.son.ireport_1_dad-chinook-father?_s=PM:US  This is just one example of the personal side of war.  Take a moment to hug your children and call your parents.  Remember we are all having a bad day but most likely you are not having the worst day ever.  There are a lot of Braydon Nichols out there, do me a favor and don't let them ever think that their loved one gave the ultimate sacrifice for nothing.

I have attached some more photos of Kandahar and the local area.  I hope you enjoy.

Here's what a typical house looks like, I'm pretty sure they WiFi and plasma screen technology in there.

This is baseops.  If you are bored look up Taliban's Last Stand.  Basically as we overtook KAF in '01 the Taliban leaders all retreated to this building.  It didn't work out so well, most "last stands" don't..Custer, the Alamo...You get the idea.  But then again we're still here 10 years later.

This is the view departing KAF to the south looking westbound (imagine the right side of the plane.  Just to the left of the mountian in the valley sits Kandahar city which is Afghanistan's 2nd largest city (est. 850,000) where President Karzai's half brother was recently killed.  They have a major problem with Taliban and insurgents in the town right now.  I've heard they have some decent bars but I'm not Jones'n that bad just yet, check back in October.

Same mountian as seen at dusk from our ramp.  If you look closely you can see a blimp on the left side of the mtn.  They don't have NASCAR or MNF here so you can probably guess what a tethered blimp is doing over the city of Kandahar.

Happy snap of us walking out to the jet. For the record you are looking at two single-seat fighter pilots about to go fly a corporate jet.  I can't believe the AF thinks this is a good idea.

Doing the pre-flight inspection.  Yes I do wear my Red Sox hat when I fly.  As of this date they are one game up on the evil empire (NY Yankees) so it must be working.

Pictures!!!!

This is just a post of pics with some minor explanations.  Let me know if you have any questions.

WB-57 owned by NASA.  We share our ramp with them, they do science projects like death rays and itchy lasers.  Not really...I hope.  I might be in trouble.



Afghan Air Force helicopters.  Eventually our side of the base will be all Afghanis and we will be on the other side of base.

A village in Afghanistan as seen from the air.  I would say zoom in but this is pretty much how it looks.  It is shocking how desolate this country is.  Only while up north over Jalalabad or Kabul do you really see cultural lighting.

A mountain range in the western part of AFG.  The terrain is very similar flying out at Nellis in Las Vegas.  Seriously it looks like Utah or Nevada out here. That is where the similarity ends.

View from the HUD, not very exciting but kind of cool.

HUD at night.

Lots of airplanes here, some don't even have people in them.  Don't even ask how that works.

Raise your hand if you thank God every day your aren't "flying" one of these.  That being said they do kill lots of bad guys.

Thats all for now, Cheers

Beast

Getting Into a Flow

For me the best way to deal with being away from the family is to develop a routine as soon as possible.  For short trips this generally involves my unpacking my suitcase and putting everything away.  For longer trips (greater than 2-3 weeks) I revert back to a technique I used while at the Air Force Academy in which I would break my days up into significant milestones, usually in the form of the next meal.  I love traveling but I also love my couch, its a tough combination some time.  So I've been deployed now for almost 3 weeks and of course I've settled in to my routine.  The first thing I have tried to establish were goals for my time deployed.  Of course everyone goes down range planning to work out and lose some weight.  I always found this ironic that we deploy to combat to get in to shape.  Shouldn't we be in shape when we get here?  Just a thought.  So I tried to work out as much as i could prior to leaving which of course was not enough but I didn't die the first time I went running so I'll call that a little victory.  I just realized the potential misunderstanding for words like "die" while being deployed; for these purposes die meant I didn't fall off the treadmill looking like a gold fish out of water gasping for breath while making noises similar to a hyena that just found a bowl of freshly ground water buffalo.

Thus my days are basically comprised of moments between meals, workouts, and flights.  The food is the same, the workouts are pretty standard and our sorties over here are very long but productive in the grand scheme of things.  For a fighter guy who has about 75 hours flying in the last 13 days...that's a lot of flying.  It is different flying though where once airborne we basically monitor the autopilot and listen to the radios until on station.  7-8 hours later we pack it up and go home, so a 10 hour mission contains about 30 good minutes of flying, but this is probably one of the best deals out there.  Here is a picture of one of our birds, not a bad ride if you have to spend 10 hours sitting next to someone. For you aviation enthusiasts it is the Bombardier Global Express XRS, the AF calls it the E-11A.

On the days we fly that is pretty much all we can accomplish, I try to get up early to go work out but sometimes the 0430 gym push is a little too much for even a Spartan Warrior like me to muster.  When that happens hopefully I can sneak an evening workout in or I just make sure to over eat that way there is no question about what went down.

My next goal was to read legitimately good books.  Books in which I feel like either I learned something or that made me a better person.  I realize a Garfield comic book could probably make me a better person but you get the idea.  I am already through four books and while I don't intend to plug any I do feel compelled to recommend War by Sebastian Junger. He also wrote The Perfect Storm.  His account of the battle to contain the Korengal Valley is very impressive and I think it can give us an idea of what our ground forces are being asked to do on a daily basis.

So now you have a general idea of my routine, I wish it was more exciting but in some ways I'm glad its not.  Life is good and all is well.  until next time.

Beast

What Have I Done?

Getting into the combat zone can be a trip.  As many folks can attest, it is probably the most miserable 6-9 days of your life. It generally starts out with a long tearful goodbye at the airport while you fight to keep from boarding until the very latest moment allowed by the FAA without having to be re-screened by what can only be described as the Lack of Common Sense Police.  Last time I checked little old ladies in diapers are not blowing up airplanes...but I digress.  This is followed by another two or three 8-10 hour flights on an airplane designed to carry 350 people but the government has found a way to fit 780...it is not good.  Oh by the way, this airplane isn't just carry folks bound for combat but also spouses and children who are moving overseas and are soooooooo excited to begin their new adventure!  You can see the dichotomy on this flight...very interesting vibe as you walk the isles.  Assuming you survive this little jaunt you are rewarded with 7 more bags each weighing at least 50 pounds to carry around and then you board an even smaller plane with more people and head to your final destination.  Every journey over is a little bit different but you get the idea.

This, however, was not my trip.  I flew my own airplane over with two other individuals; by this I mean we sat in the cockpit and flew the airplane!  A mere14 flying hours later with a short stop in Jolly-Jolly England for some pints of Ale we sky-hooked into our final destination .  I tell you this not to brag but to understand how I have set myself up for failure.  My attitude when I got here was probably very similar to the New England Patriots in 2007, who after after going 16-0 in the regular season and rolling through the playoffs in to the Superbow no doubt thought "I got this!"  Needless to say when I showed up I was not miserable, tired, cranky, pissed off, sore or whatever crazy emotion you can conjure up.  I was excited to have just flown over a part of the world I had never seen and oh by the way I just had my first sortie in an airplane designed for hi-end corporate travel...not bad.  Oh boy did I need help.  I think part of the relief in getting here is that you are no longer traveling, since I didn't go through that experience I cheated myself out of the real joy in getting to the AOR.  I think when you go through something like that you appreciate your 4x6 bedroom and communal shower a little more.

Unfortunately for me I also broke one of the cardinal rules for going TDY:  I whistled while I packed.  If you don't understand why this is such a big deal then you have never gone some place magical while your significant other searched the house for all your passwords so she can pay the bills.  If you immediately hate me then your loved one has obviously forgot to get you a gift while he was learning to scuba dive in WWII wreckage of the coast of Honolulu.  Bottom line is I set myself up for failure.  Excited to get on the road, primarily because the sooner I start the sooner I am done, but also because this is a new and unique adventure for me I forgot to really focus on the emotional toll deploying takes on people.

If you can't see the sh*t storm brewing let me fill you in.  My crisis is two fold:  1) Sink and Grey Hairs are left to pick up my mess back home without any real closure to my leaving and 2) I show up in theater prancing around like the newest cast member of Glee.  Sink and Grey Hairs have been here plenty of times albeit never to this extreme so I have nothing but confidence in them. In all reality when this is over it will have been much more difficult for me then them since they get the normalcy of life back home.  The guys that I am deployed with have been her for months and I am the new guy.  And while it may not seem that bad; the food is free and the weather is no worse than Vegas, it does get old and you can see it on the guys about to leave.  The air smells roughly similar to a homeless man's armpit and is heinously dirty.  So standard new guy stuff applies; take out the trash without being asked, go to work and be helpful, and as always never pass up the opportunity to shut your piehole.

Again remember men and women are over here getting hurt daily.  Getting hurt so we can enjoy the life we have come to expext as Americans, so all I ask is that while you are at the gas pump putting in $4 fuel into your full-size SUV for your family of three you consider writing your Congressmen and ask them to please push for an end to the NFL lockout.  It's almost August and without football the TV over here is really going to suck.  Please don't do that to us.

Cheers,
Beast